Heading to the final stretch

So, yesterday we hit 24 weeks. It passed by like another day, no fan fair, no big meal, just mommy and daddy lying in bed looking at old photos of how we looked as kids. The wife looked goofy, and I looked like the troll under the bridge. I still think I was cute, but she thinks I was the one that scared little kids. She may not be completed wrong.

So, as the weeks pass by and time seems to be running away from us, I wonder what we still need to do. The past weekend we did up the baby's room. Its almost complete, and that elusive bedroom mat is on its way. Lucky for me, this poor man has a wife who knows about finances, otherwise our kid would have a drawer for a cot. And so, with just 16 weeks still to go (give or take), it seems that the only things left are the general items parents all need to get, nappies, creams, towels, baby powder and well....everything else.

I look forward to weeks 25, 26, 27 etc, and I tell you, as they pass by we start to realise that those "only the 2 of us" days are slipping by, and you know what, we cant wait. I hope that with my little man in my arms, whatever reassurances I need, will come to life when I have him close and kiss his little face.

Question: Would you say its better to use your arm to determine the temperature of hot water, or use an actual thermometer?

Over and Out

Okay, so I was meant to post yesterday, but I got so caught up that I didnt. Well, the "dreaded" 22 week scan is over and done with, and we are still having a boy, and he is 100% healthy according to the scan. What a beautiful blessing, and I tell you it was as though my direct line to God was open. Thank goodness God doesnt use Telkom adsl, otherwise there could be major communication issues. Okay, terrible witty statement there.

The real truth here is that this boy is going to be good, and his dad cant wait for him to come out and play (although he is only allowed out as close to the 40th week as possible) with him. And the most amazing thing happened yesterday morning and last night. You may have guessed it, but YES I felt the little man kick!! It was freaken AWESOME. I first felt in the morning what seemed to have been a muscle twitch, but the wife assured me it was the baby. But last night, Oh Boy, he was kicking up a storm....i sat there on the bed, eyes wide, mouth agape in absolute wonder.

Just to give you an indication on how much this little man moves, when we were at the foetal specialist first thing in the morning, he was lying breach. When we moved over the road to the Gynae an hour and a half later, he was back to head down position. Does this mean I am going to get an over-excited kid? Probably.

Well, this is my feedback for the 22 week scan.

Question to ponder on: Is it normal for a man to be this passionate about his child?

A step closer

Twenty two weeks now. When they say time flies, they really mean it. I can still remember when I found out that my wife was pregnant. You know the mixture of emotions you feel, so hard to describe, but so hard to forget. I had my first taste of fatherhood over the weekend, with friends of ours coming over with their little one. Lets just say at the end of the evening, I didnt want to give her back. I also got to change her diaper, oh my gosh, it was smelly. I almost went squint from the smell. Ok, perhaps it wasnt that bad, but Im sure you all get the message.

So, the wife is starting to "feel" the little one move, but she refers to the sensation as "Being pushed". Her bump is quite clear now, and soon I think she will struggle to settle into her old clothes. That means that I am going to be heading off to the shops with her soon to buy more maternity wear. Yay for me.

The soccer world cup is here in a few days, and it would have been wonderful to share this momentous occassion with my boy. I suppose I will have to make mommy watch and I get to commentate to the bump.

So, what else is next for us? Our very big scan takes place this Thursday (10 June), and I know I should be more nervous, but for some reason, nothing matters except my wife and baby. Sure I want him to be healthy, and I pray to GOD that he will be, but he is my boy, no matter what. I will accept any challenge that GOD gives me, because I know there is a plan. I still want, like any parent, that my son will be healthy and fighting fit when he comes out. I am ready for him, to play with him, to teach him, and for him to teach me.

To my lovely wife, you are strong and magnificent. This child is so blessed to have you as his mommy. He is going to have the sexiest mom around. Of course, it doesnt hurt that his daddy is FINE too.

So, I will post information on the blog after the scan, and hopefully it will all be good news.

Here is a question: Is sympathy pregnancy a reality for men?

Until Later
J

Countdown begins (actually passed half way)

Well, my wife has just passed 21 weeks. Next week is the big scan, and in the beginning of her pregnancy I was very afraid, paranoid and so forth, but I have eased my way into this pregnancy thing.

We have bought most of what we need for the little one, but you still feel as though some things are missing, like you just dont have enough! I know, I must save some things for others to buy at the baby shower, but what if they dont get the things we need or want? Okay, now Im just being full of nonsense....we can always swap, right?

So, according to stats my baby is 30cm and weighs the same as a stapler (small one). Who knew...now I cant stop holding my stapler! go figure! So, whats next for us? Well, baby should be able to hear our voices by now, so I guess I will be talking to to the wife's belly tonight (and every other night). Its as though we dont care how foolish we act when we are around pregnant women, newborn babies or toddlers, cause we make the strangest faces, weirdest sounds and so many other child like things.

So, with only 19 weeks to go, a bedroom mat to search for, and a thousand endless, sleepless nights, I best get ready for all of this. I cant wait to see the scan next week, I think he'll have my eyes!!

Consider the Dad

This is my first time at writing a blog, but I feel its necessary as a man and as a future father. My wife is 21 weeks pregnant, and like any unsure, uncertain and questionable father I have tried to find answers to all my questions: What type of dad will I be? Am I going to be a good father? Will I be able to cope with the changes? I had so many questions, and almost no answers.

I have subscribed my wife to every pregnancy magazine, and yet I open the packaging and read the articles first. I carefully scan the contents to see what information is available to dads, and it always seems obvious what I am going to read about. I feel that the stereotypical questions are answered: How to support your family? What time of man am I going to be? Things that actually dont address what I want to know about being a father. I want to know: How can I bond with my child? How do I hold my baby close when I feed him? When he cries and mom is tired, what can I do?

The answers always seem so simple, but I must ask the most important question that comes to my mind: How can women expect me to be included and be the better father when every single article tells me that the only real bond is between a mother and child? I am not a typical man, I have a really soft side, so I want to experience as much as I can with my wife and child, but I do feel that the exclusion that society places on me is already a deterent. I am a man, and that is my sin, clearly!

If my baby cries, I will be there to soothe him. If he falls, I will pick him up. Now, I am not saying that I will adhere to the norm of being a father, and I will definitely participate in the upbringing and care of my child, and I am also not saying that women feel that they are excluding their men, but ladies....just consider that men do feel excluded. Society creates that impression, and so men tend to exclude themselves.

Now please know that I do not condone men that choose to exclude themselves from their children, and nor do I support such behaviour. I choose to be a large part in my child's life, and nothing or no-one will tell me differently. I just want acknowledgement that I have as equal a right as my wife when it comes to my child. What about my right to paternal leave, as is the case for women on maternity leave? When my wife struggles with tiredness, fatigue, exhaustion and generally feeling run down, how am I being a part of the solution, if I am at work and not at home looking after my little one while my wife takes that nice long afternoon nap? I want that, but I do not have the same rights, and so, traditionally I am excluded.

I know I sound so bitter, but this is not what I am trying to accomplish here. I want to know what other fathers think, and get them involved in these discussions. I want to hear from mothers (or future moms) about how they feel about their men, and their participation, either during pregnancy or with the little one already born. I would also like input from mothers who have older children and their partners participate, or regretably, do not participate. Perhaps as a man, I can give you my thoughts, input and maybe a little advice.

I welcome all feedback, suggestions, ideas, questions and hopefully - answers.

Thank You